And here is why.
A zillion years ago, she included the following quote in one of her advice columns:
"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."
I have no idea about the context — I actually ripped that column out of the paper, tacked it to my bulletin board, and left it there until it yellowed with age, but I never paid attention to the question Ann Landers had been asked, or what else she said to help the asker.
That quote just jumped out at me so much, and has served as a constant reminder that we can choose our thoughts; we can choose our focus. How many times have you been pissed off about something and replayed it in your head, over and over, dissecting every detail and ruminating on the injustice of it all? How many times have you taken stock of someone’s faults and flaws, and pondered how awful they are and how many ways they’ve done you wrong?
Those minutes, hours, days of your life is time you’ll never get back. So, the next time you find yourself obsessing over someone you despise, remember that your time and your emotional well-being are worth way more than that person is paying.