It's been a little while since we've promoted our Super Anonymous, Super Secret Feedback Form, where wedding professionals can submit their rants and pet peeves about the vendors they're working with at weddings. (Feeling salty? Send us an anonymous rant of your own and let us know all about it!)
We've loved hearing what's wrong with our industry, because we love giving our peers a forum for sharing their true thoughts and feelings. Sure, no names are mentioned, but sometimes just making a behavior public, and calling it out as unacceptable, is a very effective way of addressing a problematic situation.
In that spirit, we present our latest round of "Friday Feels" - perfectly put, self-explanatory rants about what's really happening behind-the-scenes at weddings. Vendors, do any of these heinous acts sound like they could have been committed by you? Well, we implore you to consider how you're affecting others in the field. (Of course, we welcome your comments if you'd like to explain why these issues aren't actually issues at all!)
We didn't write these rants ourselves; we don't necessarily endorse or agree with them (although in some cases we probably do!). We're posting them here mostly as written, with a little cleaning-up for clarity. Scroll down for wedding pros' true thoughts and secret rants, broken down by vendor category!
"This rant is directed to photographers and videographers who stand in front of the groom. They not only block the groom's view, but then force the members of the bridal party/processional to go around him/her. Shouldn't they move rather than force the people coming up the aisle to walk around him/her?! The look on people's faces as they walk around the photographer, is confusion and frustration. Where is the respect..."
"Generally speaking, our DJs work with great professional wedding photographers. However, from time to time, we work with photographers who think it's okay to bring all of their gear, ladders and cases and just drop them off next to or in front of our workspace....and then leave them there during the entire event.Many of us spend a great amount of time making sure that our work space looks clean and professional. We hide wires, any additional gear, and take the time to make the set up space look as clean as possiblle only to have someone make it look like a bomb blew up in under 5 seconds. Many times, other than the head or sweetheart table, our work space is a focal point in the room as it is closest to the dance floor and where most announcements are coming from. Over the years we have offered to help by allowing photographers space under our tables or behind our facades only to be told that they would like to leave their gear right where it is."
"As a photographer I hate when the DJ brings one of their own people onsite to photograph the event for their company website. Their person isn't a professional so they're constantly interfering with me while I'm trying to do my job. At a job last weekend a guest asked me about why my second shooter and I had to explain that the other photographer he saw cribbing my shots wasn't my second shooter but staff from the DJ company. The next thing you know this DJ company will start offering photo services, and I bet it'll be at super low prices with super low quality."
"Laser lights! These look terrible in pictures and are annoying IRL. DJs with cameras (dude that's my job! I'm not whipping out my iPod!). DJs who don't give the photographer a heads up that something big is about to happen (especially if early/late or not on the circulated schedule). Don't start the Hora when I'm in the bathroom please!"
"As a DJ, I always check to make sure the couple, parents, and other vendors are present and ready before I make any announcements for things like toasts or the cake cutting. Lately, though, it seems like some of the less-experienced planners are coming up to me and insisting that I announce things immediately, without checking in like I normally would. They swear they've handled all of that themselves, so, not wanting to insult them or call them a liar, I do what I'm told and announce the first dance, the bouquet toss or whatever, only to find out the photographer (or other vendor or family member) wasn't ready! It's mortifying. I care about maintaining the timeline as much as the planner does, but not at the expense of the couple and their vendors."
"It used to be one of the important reasons a planner/coordinator was needed was to coordinate the outside services outside of what core vendors did - pipe and drape, lighting, etc. Now it's being foisted on other vendors. The planners/coordinators are getting paid, but they won't go get the quote. They go ask the florist or caterer, who might not be getting paid, to include it in their quote. So if they aren't doing it themselves, what are they doing?"
"We have a problem in the industry. And the problem is sexism. Why is it that in an industry dominated by women, if there's a female wedding planner, the majority of the vendors chosen are male?"
"Why does it sometimes feel that caterers don't want to be part of the team? They will not share the loading dock. They will not feed vendors so vendors can also do their job. Even something as simple and putting their table number in the center of the table where the centerpiece goes?!?! And yet they never resist asking for photos and free flowers for passing trays or the cake. What gives? Is it only one-way for them?"
Hair & Makeup Artists:
"Running late with hair & makeup makes the whole entire day more stressful than it needs to be. Be realistic with your timeframe, and stay on schedule! Be firm with your clients about adding heads/faces the day of."
All Vendor Categories/General Commentary:
"Not attributing! So many vendors post blogs, social media of all varieties, and feature submissions and never attribute the team of other professionals that helped create the magic. It takes a village and everyone deserves their acknowledgement."
"I am a nursing mother and wedding professional. It seems every other day I see businesses creating nursing facilities at baseball stadiums, offices and airports. But do you know where there is no support? In the wedding industry. I have been forced to pump in bathrooms, in the open in my car and so on. i have even seen no accommodations made for guests that are nursing mothers. Why is that? We may all joke that wedding planners have a baby and disappear, but realistically how are they - or for that matter a catering staff member, a DJ or a florist - supposed to do their job when you are expected to be "on" for 10+ hours? Our clients rarely get it but many of us are well past our early 20s."
"I don't know exactly what's happened but I feel like some where in the past 15 years, the industry has become a lot less collaborative and a lot more cliquey. I see it most at networking events, and to some degree I feel the mass profusion of networking events has encouraged it. It's like people who go to a very large college and only experience a very small element of it because it's otherwise too overwhelming. In that sense, I understand the cliqueing (is that a word?). It's disappointing though because it really makes working a lot less pleasant."
So...there you have it, the latest batch of standalone rants in our industry! (Looks like some vendor categories got off scot-free...for now.) What do you think? Are some of these behaviors defensible? Do you engage in them knowingly and deliberately? If so, please leave a comment here, drop us a line via email, or submit an anonymous rant of your own, and let us know where you're coming from!